I'm having a really bad day

[Donna]

I didn't sleep at all last night and cried the whole night. Just need someone to talk to!!!!!!!!

[My idol]

Donna, I don't know what happened. I just put up another entry for you, and then all the entries were gone! Something is going goofy right now on the forum. I can't get chat for the first time ever and I know of one other person also having trouble with chat. Sorry that this affected your discussion.
Take care,
Linda

[Donna]

Thanks for trying. Donna

[Jerry Pickett]

Sorry you had a rough night. Talk away! We are all here for you.

[Donna]

I have been estranged from my 25 year old son for the past 4 years. He chose to live with his father when we got divorced. We did have a custody agreement, but when he was 14 he chose to live with his dad. He wants absolutely nothing to do with me because 1. I got remarried, 2. I had a baby and 3. He knows I have had bipolar for the past 12 years and tried to attempt suicide 2 times. I miss him dearly and now, he has had a baby that is 8 months old who I have never seen, and yesterday this all came crashing down, and I just feel like I can not bear this pain!

[My idol]

Donna, could your son possibly feel diffently now that he has a child of his own?? If you haven't already tried to reach out, now might be the time. I sincerely feel for you. You definitely need friends right now. So please stay on the forum, even if it's in the middle of the night. There's almost always something going on here to keep your mind occupied. Try the word games for a little no-thinking nonsense, And be good to yourself!
Best wishes,
Linda

[My idol]

I just found our other postings, Donna. It's under the "Anyone There?" discussion by you also. I don't know how I confused them. Sorry.
Linda

[Donna]

No he doesn't feel different now that he has a baby. I heard through a mutual friend that he will do everything in his power to keep the baby away from me. I just can't understand how someone that I gave life to can be so hateful. My heart is breaking and I feel like I can't breath

[TeachBaby]

Oh Donna, it sounds as if you have a full plate, and it's full of ^%^$*&. Please, please hang in there. When my ex-idiot and I were divorced, my 14 year old son wanted to go live with him. Dad had filled him with baloney about me and how much he needed the boy, etc. He just turned him against me. I'd go for a visitation, and Michael would grunt. The only thing he seemed to like was Burger King. I hung in there. Once, he started yelling at me, saying his father had always been there for him, and I had not. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Dad had been ignoring him for years. I was crushed. However, his dad kicked him out when he turned 18, and Michael and I began building a relationship again. Today, he is 37, he seldom even talks to his dad, and he and I are close. He has a boy, who is almost 10. Xander is one of the joys of my life.He says if I had tried to keep him at home instead of letting him go to his father's, that he would have made my life a "living hell". I guess what I'm saying is that you probably won't be estranged from your son forever. Just hang in there and believe that justice, love, and patience on your part will likely bring him home to you eventually. Remember, if you are feeling suicidal that suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. It is wonderful that you have turned to us, and don't forget your meds and your doctor. It's important that you keep safe until you feel strong again. I'd like to suggest that you find something to distract you a little today. Make a great dessert, read your favorite author or subject, research something on the computer, or watch something interesting or fun on the tv. If you can, bring a little pleasure into your life. And talk all you need to to us. Most of us have had extremely difficult times in our lives, so we truly understand. As devastating as this illness can be at times, we are all survivors. We want to lift you up and help you to become one too.

[Donna]

I just found this site today and I have a feeling that I will certainly use it alot. I appreciate all of your suggesstions, but today I don't have the energy to eat let alone do anything else

[Donna]

I feel like I have survived 12 years of bipolar and 2 suicide attempts, but feel like if I wake up tomorrow, feeling like I do today, that I won't survive another minute of this pain.

[Donna]

I have been talking on this site, and it does help to know that there are other people who understand. Sometimes I wish that these people were my family and friends. After all this time.......they still don't get it!

[Jim Buchanan]

I responded to the other thread you started a few hours before this, but it did not have as much information as this one.

It must be heartbreaking to be in such a situation. My son won't talk to my ex either. I don't want to talk to her, but wish that he would, at least stay a little in contact.

If you wake up tomorrow feeling like today, reach out to someone -someone here if need be. We might take a while to respond, that is the nature of these forums, but someone will be here.

Also, when i feel like that I put in an emergency call to my therapist, that usually takes a few hours to get results as well, but it has literally been a life saver.

We're all wishing you well.